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Friday, October 13, 2017

when you're drunk in front of your parents

when you put excellent Excel skills on your cv, and you're there on your first day like...

annual meeting of time travelers

after spending all his toy story money eddy takes the but to his new job Mcdonald

good morning followers you mother f are shoot except you non liking y'all ain't anything

to be fair.....

that awkward moment when you're already said 'what?' three

Saturday, October 7, 2017

yeah just change it up a bit so it doesn't obvious you copied ok































what you mean I can't turn myself In and get money

we need law and order in America says the guy who just bragged about cheating

when someone says something even remotely negative about you


that's a nice nation you got there be a shame if someone DISCOVERED IT

that's a nice nation you got there be a shame if someone DISCOVERED IT

there's a new blink 182 single and everyone is playing Pokemon

get in, we're making America great again

when granny make the pie just right

April fools day is the one day of the year that people crucially evaluate news articles before accepting them as true

the face you make when someone says they think Donald trump would be a good president

If you don't love job, take a home loan you'll start loving it..........

happy easter uh...I mean Christmas...Merry Christmas

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

LA LA LAND!

when the picture you asked them to delete ends up on their instagram

scientist have discover caterpillar that looks like Donald trump's hair

my parents called me liar I looked at them in them in the eyes and said "Santa,easter bunny, toothfairy' and walked away like a boss

with the first overall pick, my deepest condolences you've been drafted by the browns

when you said 2016 was gonna be ur year but three mouths in your life already shambles

I look both ways before crossing a one way street that's how little faith I have left in humanity

I think weekends are made in china they don't last long

you're fat don't sugarcoat it cause you'll eat that too

Sunday, September 17, 2017

my son is my baby today tomorrow and always

who can go in their kitchen right now turn the light on & not see a roach

when your bf says he's out with guys

I appreciate pancakes with crispy edges

man I was listening to usher in my headphones now I got a bump on my ear!

every girl love this text her after she falls asleep and describe in large detail everything that you adore about her she'll wake up with a smile on her face

when he blew your back out the other and you swear you bet grew a little bit

took a l tired it into a lesson all my problems flip them into blessing see the good in every bad situation

when you just realized your girl was at the party watching you the entire time

if you aren't treating her right don't be mad when somebody else does

god isolates you so you can get yourself togetheit may steem like you lost friendships &relationships but a better you is worth more!

the best thing the slave master peoplehave taught I'll culture to keep our divided for America s'don't trust nobady now think about that major key

I gave my boss a cookie just in case he wanna run a random drug test!!! we all going down

you chicks. want these dudes to stay out your Dm just take your weave off and your makeup off then post a selfie problem solved

to all those innocent looking girls with the hood playlist in their phone


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