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Showing posts from 2017

When you from New York, making money and just trying to have a good time

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2017 has been a scooter to the ankle 

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When you send a video to your friend at 3:55pm and they reply with 

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When you get on the elevator alone and you see someone walking towards it 

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Basically 

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Guess I’ll just s*** my pants miss me with that gay shi**

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When you get too old for your parents to whip your ass 

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Did you know that a minus four degrees looks like 

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It sucks when I read read as read and not read so I have to re read read as read so I can 

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Me dec 1 12:00am 

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You come home and see your dog eating your Gucci slides, your 3rd recent emojis is your reaction 

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What makes you emotionally tough enough to be a counselor here 

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When you’re walking down the street and someone drives by and honks

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Me creating new accounts to get one month free trials

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How is this a pun you could’ve had Pringle bells or 

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Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my friends and family that I am a gift

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Find you a best friend like spongebob

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My baby treats me so good 

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When you think it’s the weekend but it’s only Wednesday 

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When you look good and someone mention it and you feel good 

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This is where my trust issues began 

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You two date nah we’re just 

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When you’re getting roasted in the group chat but you text lol and act like it’s all good 

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The perfect bus doesn’t exi

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Hits the blunt if vegans are arguing is it still considered beef

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After a year of telling my friend he looks like bob Ross he finally sends me this photo 

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What do you want to be when you grow up? 

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I honked at the car in front of me and this angry alpaca popped out and 

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Tell us how the fuck Santa gets to all them houses in one day 

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You know you fucked up when you still haven’t slept yet and you hear birds chirping outside 

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When you fail all your exam and your mum asks for the remote 

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When you at Mcdonald drive thru and they accidentally give you an extra order of fries

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When people tell you to drop the negative people in your life but you are the negative people in your life 

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My budget standing next to my salary 

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Ms puff a freak driving and riding at the same damn time need me one like this 

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I said whoeva threw that banana yo moms a hoe 

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You don’t need alcohol to have fun you also 

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When you’re baked at Mcdonald’s like can I get 

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Do you think Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane or 

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The Oreo jiggles if you stare at it and gently shake your phone

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Fidget spinners are whack when I was in 8th grade we’d shove a spoonful of cinnamon down throats 

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T pain Imma but you drank 

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When someone bumps into you and says sorry 

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My mom found my sister weed and hid it my sister found the hidden weed 

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Just so we’re clear the grinch never really hated Christmas he hated people which is fair

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Wow so many chocolates your gf is lucky to have you 

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When you,re Christmas af

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No one’s ever gonna love you with that attitude 

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Me when I check my phone for texts from friends 

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Por sure you can not enter this site unless you are 18 or older 

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